(This is one of the few times..when i’ve written the title before the post..usually its the other way round. Lets see if i manage to stick to the topic of the title )
Today someone gave me an honest dose of criticism over something i was working on. Not the blunt kinds..but the genuine one..with the rights and wrongs being pointed out, in a neutral way.( And before u jump to conclusions i was NOT cooking another dish in the kitchen). Ok i admit i had asked for feedback, but i had not prepared myself for my own reaction..i was kinda prepared for few things wrong..or that might not go well withthe other person.. (i know, nobody can really do that…and its quite obvious that you react only after the feedback)
My first reactions were- shock, anger, disbelief, pain.
I was hurt for some time..about 15 minutes. i Just turned away from "the zone" I tried to distract myself..by talking around..but the matter kept swinging in my thoughts..i was thinking of new ways to do the same thing..was trying to focus on the pointers that were thrown at me. After a few minutes..i realised..tring to cool off- hey maybe that person Is right..let me try a new way/ a diff perspective/ a diff idea..afterall i believe in trying out diff ways and a bit of experimentation/playing around works Best..and brings out the best too!
So i tried cheering up..started working again..with a somewhat changed attitude..still nursing a bit of THE "pAIN" I felt (which btw seems to have vanished now…cause i was tied up with a Lot of other things) And now my attitude is quite diff- its more like- hey i tried, it didn’t work out, so i’ll try again, this time better, with a bit of feedback..i know what the other person wants..and I’ll do it better now..I’ll work harder.
So lets see how it goes.
Incident got me thinking…
Why the hell can’t everyone take critisism positively..it could work out well..i guess!
Why does criticism hurt so much, even if we Do not want to get affected?
How can we not let criticism affect us..how can we work on it..? (today was my lucky day..but most of the times it isn’t) The normal reaction is to go on a defensive mode. I did that too… (mY exact words were- f****** i worked so hard and you’re saying this?/ u have a problem with that/ you want me to do this? )
So how do u guys handle criticism..this was a recent dose for me..i can’t rememebr the old ones..though there are MANY (yeah another thing..i seem to forget half the things..any ideas for having a good memory anyone??..bahh!)
Making Mayhem 
In my belief.. Criticism is a very modest way of saying that a person is gettin ticked off…Although sometimes,.. I really wish I were gettin ticked off rather than be criticized.. Coz it hurts a lot more when I get to hear.. "WHAT" exactly is wrong & "WHY" it is so.. So its better to hear those expletives just once & for all instead of havin to hear someone analyse u & keep u brooding over it..Shock, Anger, Disbelief.. are natural.. Coz I guess nobody can take criticism kindly.. But I sometimes muster enough courage to tell the person to shut up.. Or otherwise (& almost always).. Keep that "nothing affects me" smile.. Lol..I\’\’ll be back.. to check if anyone else has useful insight into this..Keep blogging..Ciao & TC..P.S: I gotta say.. Its real fun when its my turn to criticize someone eh? I guess I\’m a bit of a sadist.. Well.. maybe more than a bit!!..Lol..
hmm …critisism….well quite a strong word ….isnt it … ??and u know it all depends on the way it has been done….say….i believe that one becomes stronger emotionally by taking life less personally….. for example…if ur employer criticizes your report….dont take it personally….instead.. find out whatz needed and fix it…..say if ur girlfriend laughs at your tie…. dont take it personally….find another tie or find another girlfriend…..lolthee way we respond to criticism…. pretty much depends on the way we respond to praise…..if praize humbles us..makes us feel gud…then criticim will build us up….however if praise inflates us…then criticism will crush us…and both responses lead to our defeat…hope u got what i wanted to say ….take care dost…chill …saurabh..
Your post on Criticism reminds me of rain on the buffalo\’s back. Will it run away or change it\’s ways – no coz it has a thick hide. But then when it acts, it charges right thru. It is really good to be receptive to criticism – but what you do is something up to you as the criticism may or may not be spot on.Have a nice week!Vijay
oh yes criticism is hard to take… especially which directed at you… though I presonally do not even like people being over critical of things which do not even concern me… my mind speaks out loud "take a break… go help your own eff-ed up life and then bother".What I find wierd is the way I would go asking what do you think of this and in hearts of heart am not close to hearing anything negative about it. Maybe it is just another human character … Not taking any criticism. (and thinking \’who do you think you are..mr. know-all\’ /:(
uuh uuh… btw… I wanted to ask you for past few posts…Are you a Picean or Aries by any chance ?? (Just making a guess….)
am a libran… nd well no matter how kiddish it is… it works for me… not the horoscope shit… but you know i am sure the characteristics are the same under the sign… i made 2 right guesses in a day…! cmon its got to be something….!! (kiddish or girlish… it is fun reading the linda goodman too )
I somehow cant stand people criticising me…!!Shock,disbelief an anger are secondary…My first reaction is to hit them on the nose..!LOL!!The thing is who the criticism is cuming frm…If I\’m aware that its frm a noble source then i dnt really mind all that much but otherwise I\’m game for catfights…cause sum ppl critice jus outta jealousy or enviousness or wat not..!!Like if my mum wud critice then I\’d be fne wid it..even tho I wud revert back..But otherwise…beware….j/k j/k:DTake CareCiao!
Sups,In my case whatever I do has a set of reasoning and logic behind it. It may be my point of view or logic buts its there. The critique has to have a stronger set of reasoning ot logic to denounce my logic, if the person is able to do that, I agree, if they dont I too reject their views.Now what happens is that those who can not give logic that is strong enough feel that I am stubborn and do not take critisism right. But there are also a set of people who think that I am extremely open to critisism.Form my point I agree that I sometime am irrational, but usually tend to accept others point of view. But I think it has developed over the years, and I was a extremely hard headed bull at one point of time.
that really depends on who the CRITICISM is coming from… if it is from somebody who i know really cares about me, is a good critic and who is generous with their praises as well, i listen to them…as for people who only know how to pick out faults…well..to hell with them!
WRONG SPELLING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahah !!>. now dnt think tht i am criticizing your blog .. but the speeling of crticise is not critisise .. but critcise .. u see there is a \’c\’there u have put a \’s\’. !! .. hha .. criticism should never be taken negatively .. coz all of us make mistakes ..!!and critiCsm is there so tht we can improve the critized thng ..!! otherwise without critiCism .. how can we know what is criticized ???!! .. tht is why critiCism is required ..!! have fun .! tc
surprising you must bring it up, i am in fact awaiting some criticism…sounds crazy na, awaiting criticism but that is exactly what i am doing. Had to sort out certain issues with a friend and the only way of doing it would be by pointing out each others flaws…It hurts like crazy and stings at times but i know that in the long run it will help clear things out… Cheers 🙂
nah nah .. u are always welcome to write late night blogs .. m alwys there to critiCise u …… and correct ur spellings ..!!
that was rude … frnds waala .. very rude ..( sad smiley )
lol…didnt really think ud end up correcting ur spelling mistakes…way to go
i can handle critisism really well to be honest. Knowing the sour wont help you appreciate the sweet. That is like saying that only eating grass can help a lion appreciate meat. That\’s philosophical bullshit peddled by the losers of the universe who think it is ok to suffer in silence rather than lash out at the universe for an unjustifiable act of cruel injustice. You don\’t need to put up with the sour. Nobody does. As for loneliness, well, if you don\’t want to be alone seek company. If you cannot find likeable company seek a common interest and enjoy the task rather than the company. If it is loneliness of an extremely personal nature then you have to deal with it alone the best you can, anyone who attempts to help you with that has to have an agenda or be completely selfless, as should be obvious to you. (I may have no agenda but I am not completely selfless hehe).this is totaklly out of context. i seem to be losing my mind.take care :)A.
hmmmm crtiticsm wazzat, neway us perfect ppl are never subjected to tht lol, naah but seriously wid me i don care whoz sayin wat unless u matter to me then n only then do i listen, n thts wat u shld do too. the worlds full of ppl who shall concentrate ure follies (m one too) neway don take it too seriously jus be bull headed n work on improvement. btw i don wanna sandbag but india thumped SA last night lol, ne comments on Grrrrrreg huh, see patience is a virtue, give the bloke a fair run, i guess 8/11 aint bad for starters huh.
ur above entry cannot be commented on (tecnical glitch) so m commentin hereit means:love is a suffering one must suffer from. its a suffering caused by too much happiness. hence makes one unhappy
Have you ever heard the phrase "there is method in madness?" well its more like it. I do what I please, but the system is conditioned to follow some logic – automatically. I am not saying that I am always right, in fact I fail, lots of times; thats when my logic adjusts itself.About creativity, do you think there is no method in it? Just try reading a bit about Chaos Theory; just imagine there might even be a theory behind Chaos!!Neway, I am not that methodical. Its only when I need to take a decision that my head rules over heart. The head lets heart do his bidding all the other times. And thx, it feels gud to hear; yes I am a Rain Man, eternal optimist and ever romantic!!
when I put all my heart into something, criticism comes as a jolt. It takes some time to settle but later I try to take it in my stride and improvise :)But nevertheless, criticism should come from people who understand.
cool space dude..neways did u go 2 c india SA?sad match really sad
n yer i prfer angels n demons above all…digi fortress isnt fr me i guess
Well.. Ms. "I Love Maru\’s".. Lol *snigger (that was an intentional snigger..)I ask you seriously woman.. U think they\’d still be my friends being maru especially when I keep dissin maru\’s?? Honestly I ask you!!Naah! There\’r a coulpe of Mallu christians, A telugu Dude, A Kashmiri, a Chennaite, a telugu-mallu mix.. (he don\’t know either lang.. *snigger) & theres me..We\’re all maru dissers.. :P.. Not that we have anything against them. Just a very LARGE number of BAD experiences.. Lol..Be seein Ya..*Snigger (I DARE YOU!!) Lol..
see thts wat i mean, greg has to bear the brunt wen india lose, but wen they win "oh they played well" crap man.greg is only as good as the 11 on the field (12 these dayz)neway m gonna rub this one in lolzzzzz don mind 😉
see thts wat i mean, greg has to bear the brunt wen india lose, but wen they win "oh they played well" crap man.greg is only as good as the 11 on the field (12 these dayz)neway m gonna rub this one in lolzzzzz don mind 😉
happens… the first few minutes are full of anger n rage,,, but dig deep… u ll find peace!!
u know u sounded like mojo jojo there fer a min, wat re u so hyper about sheesh india won be happy jees sum ppl are NEVER NEVER NEVER satisfied…..dum de dum de dum i kno the day u see me crossin a road ull run over me lol…..i tol ya tho india ll win *collars up*
ma always tol me girls are mean never beleived her, see i know how u feel abt greg its all good, he aint my cuz, neway u wish u cld do all tht to me i wish u wld even try lol, btw wat u used there was tact right?????n i jus read smthn somwer abt tact being used by ppl not witty enuff to be ur nick lol, i dunno cant seem to rem wer i read it tho dahmn my memory, old age is bad kid.heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheslap on muh face huh???????????wont even bother commenting on it xcept tht bring em on kid………grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
neway peace kid…… take care…… btw "can i be friendship with you" hehehehehehehehe, or maybe its for a few speshul ppl like greg n chetan lololololololololololololololololololololololololhyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk and double hyuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!sheesh sorry i dunno wats got over me (2nd childhood maybe)
It\’s fun reading all these blogs …gotta admit, taking criticism isn\’t easy at all, especially when you realize that what the person is saying is actually correct, kinda makes it harder to accept…!!