This is me..straight from the heart.

Do people "get drunk" because they want to be in that state? Where they can let loose..forget about their "so called sorrows?"
How many of us face real sorrows in life?
Someone told me once…you’ve got no worries, all superficial ones…stop cribbing..there are people in this world in a worse condition..
Words keep coming back to me..just words.
Today I finally calculated all the credit card slips I had carefully tucked away in my wallet. The amount that i totalled made me feel really small inside. Made me realize to some extent the value of money…the value of my dad’s hard earned money. And what he might have thought when he must have totalled his expenses at some point of time in his life..and then thought of earning his living. And then thought of his dad’s money..and then supporting his wife, his children. The amount i withdrew in the past 3 months (with most of it for living and eating) made me feel guilty, slightly aghast and very very small.
On personal goals, I dont build too many of them. There’s something in my mind always stopping me from aiming too high. I’ve learnt some, improved some.. but not drastically..without being too hard on myself, I think I’m probably capable of much better, performed well on certain occassions but somehow I always felt like ‘thats no big deal’ despite some people treating me like god for helping them out. Why am I not proud of myself? I’m not sad right now or unhappy, but unconsciously I always feel later on that ‘ I could have done much better’. Is it that competition has made me like this? Or can I not handle the fact that I am going fine and just need to buck up. I haven’t done anything out of the way,or am I comparing myself too much? One can’t help comparing themselves unconsciously, but I wish I could overcome a few personal hurdles to get better than what I am…How do i learn to acknowledge myself?
Our resident brand ambassador said something today which caught my mind… Cynicism and is one of the negatives of today’s youth (or something on that line..but basically he meant that)
True huh?
Coming back to the drinking…how do people manage to behave ‘drunk’ and get their ‘sorrows’ out?!
Home’s calling and on a personal note again I’m gonna miss somethings and some people..especially my crush material professors (i can think of 3 right now!) teeheee

3 thoughts on “This is me..straight from the heart.

  1. wah! and i thought it was only one guy!! u amazzzzzzzzzzze me!!
    unconscious comparisons and unconsciously aping someone we adore are possibly common traits. How far can we mask them is a variable among people.
    Being too hard on oneself is good, cos sometimes no one else is honest enough to point the mistakes to one\’s face (reasons for that could be many). And since no one else is, one could get a false sense of satisfaction, and feel that one is good, which one is not. And who is one I don\’t know. For that matter, one is two or three, or one is you or them, I forgot. Errr.. nevermind.
    Sorry for littering on your post. But, put the heavy things aside, go back home, enjoy and come back, pick up this stuff and cry then. Till then, CHILLLLLAAAAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  2. Hey how\’ve u been?longtime no see??btw i started a new blog here on MSN again! 😀 (Yeah u can cal me crazy! )hehe! hope to see u there sometime!and about the post i havent really read it. I have a concert comin up! so im kina busy!I will read and comment upon it after 21st! :)peace & loveJeevy

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s