Haven’t written anything constructive in such a long time, I almost feel that I’ve forgotten how to type long paragraphs. For some strange reason, I feel quite taken aback when people ask me about "my writing". There was no major writing, was there? I mean writing was an much as what IcyNidhi would write, or GB (whatever is ur latest nickname) would, or Mnaz, or anyone else would write. Couple of paragraphs, some thoughts, some humor, an incident, an occasional tag, but mostly – personal opinions.
I used to a very vocal person, pretty much blunt. Still am. Impatience and short temper follow me around too (mostly in my head, the former spills out more often though). With time I realized that its not a smart thing to be very vocal about your personal opinions. One has to fine tune it based on the situation. Slowly that feeling crept on while I was writing as well. I became conscious of the fact that people would be reading me and judging me on the basis of what I wrote. That started preventing me from writing stuff on my mind. It never occurred to me that maybe I can fine tune what I write. I mostly read my own post twice before posting, the last for minor spelling errors or the sort. I’ve somehow always never preferred blanketing things or sugar coating them. Write it as it is, Click it as it is. If its fine tuned, made politically correct, reworked upon, photoshopped around or post processed around then its not how its meant to be. Not straight from the heart. Not raw and true.
Yeah. Silly I know. Because some people take pride, and have mastered layering things well. Presenting them. Working upon them. Dedicatedly. Maybe I’d do it too someday, maybe I still do it without realizing it. I’m still not comfortable having everybody read this blog. Half of my friends don’t have access to it/don’t know about it. Make that more than half. Maybe I’m still not ready to extend my comfort zone, or be what I am and be known for it. Mighty slow a process in my case I guess. Almost 5-6 yr old blog. It still matters to me in some ways. Yes there have been months where I haven’t written anything that matters, but somehow I’ve always checked up on it once in a week or so. And I shall continue to do so.
Afterall, Spaces is technically one of my first web babies. The other is a bsnl website i created when I was 15..and well..i cant seem to find the link for it now 😦