when the moon comes out.

Woke up at 11 pm….half an earlier than i normally do. Watched a bit of Television. Logged onto the internet. The table was set for dinner, Dad was about to leave for work. He gave me a his usual complaining yet calm look- Learn to wake up early beta. I’ll try -my usual reply..It just doesn’t happen Dad..i somehow oversleep.

 

Dinner consisted of my favourie dishes- Its nice to wake up to your favourite smells. Post dinner it was time to return from my job. I don’t mind returning, especially when i haven’t even left for work! My cellphone beeped to its usual ringtone..No No No No don’t phunk with my heart…It was mum she wanted me to return home on time, as she had my favourite dinner ready for me. Rajma and Rice with mixed vegetables and raita as accompaniment. Heaven. Thank god the phone beeped. My Boss seemed to be in a mood to grill me. He wanted to assign additional work to me. ‘Akshay-come in for a bit..need to discuss something’ The word discuss  generally means -work –on the accounts of this company or check that or tally something..or go for some meeting. Now i don’t mind meetings. Especially the lunch meetings, like i had today.

Now who would complain, if you have a pretty looking female executive sitting across you, sharing your meals at one of the rows of tasty but reasonable joints. The sad part comes in when the start discussing work, the minute the orders have been taken. Those were two hours spent, wondering if we’d have any other conversation.. at the same time trying to actively participate in the discussion.

 

I looked at my watch- it was 11 am, an hour to go before I had my lunch meeting. My day was going slow.Had to cover a few audit reports. Handed the accounts of Mecca Shippings to my pal..I owe him one for this one. He gave me a ride to office, my bike failed to start up in the morning today.

Its 8 am now. Time for my workout. The gym is my favourite hangout. I was quite skinny earlier..now I like it when my female friends compliment me.

My sister’s birthday today..hurriedly wished her, she was elated when she saw the new perfume..6 am now..lights out at home..The sun is coming up..its getting hotter and harsher.. I’ll read a bit and then crash out.

Life begins when the moon comes out.

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Psst… Please dont even TRY linking this with my life…I’m not involved anywhere in this story (apart frm thinking of it ofcourse hehe )

I?

Maybe i need a major change in my attitude..my thinking..my ways and my life.

I just dont know what else to write.

 

Notes to self.

Do’s and Dont’s

 

Bite your tongue before you pass comments.

Especially around over sensitive people.

Its a different thing that you wont be able to hold your tongue.

Its another thing that they will mind anyways…anyhow. (weirdos)

 

 

Dont ponder and wonder in amazement at stubborn people.

They will get their way out eitherways.

You will not be able to.

Think of alternative ways. (Read: reverse psychology)

 

 

Jealousy is not a subject to be amused at.

You can ignore it.

Or fight the jealous..

But they’ll still be jealous.

So its best to carry on and give it back to them when the time comes.

 

 

How many lessons to self do you actually follow??

Lol supriya you’re like a easy going empress. hmph.

Extreme joblessness.

Reading

Watching tv

Logging on.

Reading again.

Watching tv again.

Logging on again.

 

 

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Ever sat back with your head resting against the pillows and the wall, and another below under your feet..hands resting comfortable on your stomach..eyes on the fan..yes the fan..

Fans with its blades (or whatever they are called) moving timelessly…constantly…Are we like them? Going on and on..But do we stop when we want to? Or when life forces us to?

 

Slow songs sort of put me in a pensive mood. hmph and i should be happy.

As time flies by me I meet fewer and fewer people whom I can relate to. Is it me? Or is it them? Its not being stuck up..but i end up tolerating certain people…maybe its compromise and tho i dunno why in the world I’m doin tht…and i guess its stupid to expect people to understand you perfectly and completely and vice versa.

arghh i should just drop this.

 

 

 

Youth for what??

Since the last 2 weeks or more…in between my vacation AND examinations (its weird how it all happens so fast..like at ‘light speed’ as our Falcon puts it) we witnessed (not like witnessed in first person but witnessed thanks to stars and the times and other news channels –the endless list)  a few cases where one of us, the youth, the so called bright/shining youth have found themselves under constant public scrutiny..

 

First there’s the much talked about Rahul Mahajan case..Drugs and everything. So much has been said and Soo many rumors and baseless facts  i heard while i was in Mumbai that i didnt know whether to correct those facts or to laugh at all the gossipmongers i came across..So many viewpoints have been thrown around regarding this issue that i don’t really wish to comment much upon it…

Moving on, the question that remains with me is–Whats the entire fascination about drugs? I guess the answer lies in addiction and for the urban youth-there’s a whole lot of things–the cool factor/ steady supply of cash from the filthy rich parents/experimentation/escape from tensions/show off.. and for the rest u can read India Today. The funny part is..they take drugs while they’re happy, they take drugs when they’re sad/depressed. such is the power….Are the youth that weak? And why? I mean personally i’d feel like slapping a person who takes drugs just cause he/she is depressed.

 

The second case is that of Army Officer Lt.Sushmita Chakrabarty who committed suicide..for reasons which are said to be dissatisfaction with her job. Being an officer she expected greater responsibilities..and all the duties she got were those of organising army parties etc. Since 2002 there have been 430 suicides in the army..To top it all the army chief makes comments like..’we prefer male officers to female officers’…Its sad that people who make such comments still exist at such high posts. They need some lessons on gender issues 😛

 

Even the mysterious death of Delhi University student Neha is said to be a case of suicide..

 

Also Nafisa Joseph the succesful actress/vj who committed suicide a few years back..

 

All these figures, whether celebrities or not are one of us..and its pretty sad that they have to resort to such measures. Yes some of them are spoilt rich brats who were out there to have just a bit of fun and are probably not even worth being made a scandal about, because thats how they and a 100 other rich brats lead their life. It was only one of them who managed to come into the public eyes..

For those who earnestly sought a life, worked towards it..seeked happiness..in a single moment they decided to end it all. Psychologists..Nidhi and everyone..answer me..Why?

Is it the pace of today’s life thats taking its toll on them?

Is it peer pressure?

Why do we feel depressed over the smallest issues..so much so that we might loose our minds enough to end our lives?

If thats the added baggage to fame and money and success, then I really wonder if success is worth it?